Friday, November 2, 2012

Leaving the Past in the Past

I know we shouldn't dwell on the past. We should leave it behind us. But sometimes, we need to look back on the past to see how far we have come.

There are certain things we can think of, with fondness.

The birth of a child is a wonderful thing. When you hold that sweet, tiny person in your arms, you melt. You are in awe of the miracle of life. You feel so blessed.

I have two sons, so twice a year I dwell on their births.
I remember how labor starts, where I am when it starts, the trip to the hospital. My youngest son loves to hear about the morning he was born. And he is 27! My sons are such a blessing to me. I love them both dearly and would fight to the death for them.

Some things we think on that are sad.
I remember the day my daddy died. It was heartbreaking. We were all in the room with him as his heart stopped beating. I can remember the pain I felt, who was in the room, the snow on the ground outside, the beep of the moniters.  The sadness that filled us all. How I love my daddy and look forward to the day I can see him again.

I remember vividly the day I came home to the note on the table saying my husband was leaving me.
I will never forget the day, and date or the  feelings I had.

But, I look back now at the beginning of all the madness that followed, and can see how now I am a stronger person. I see now how God was there with me through all those dark days.

I remember all the promises that God made to me as I read his word. I remember that people will let you down, but that my Lord and Savior never will.

I am not the same person I was 8 years ago.

I am not as shy about speaking in front of others as I used to be. As a matter of fact I lead a praise and worship service at my church , and I preach one Sunday a month at a small church. There is no way on earth I would have done that before.

 I go places now that I had never been before. I went to Panama City, Florida with my children and their wives this summer for a week.         I definately want to go back.
I have to drive places I had not driven before because of the ministry I am going into to. I was terrified until God told me to get a GPS to use and now I look for places to go so I can use it.

I have always had faith in God and have gone to church all my life. But now there is a sense of urgency in me to spread God's word and to serve him in ways I never dreamed of.

The things of the past can hurt. God can turn any situation around for the good. So I don't dwell anymore on the bad. I do think of things as the anniversary of the date comes up ( and it will be this Sunday), and I do get sad. But then I think of everything the good Lord has done for me and how he held me in his arms during all the bad times and I can move on.

Only God knows my future. And Jeremiah 29:11 says, For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.
This verse is a friend of mines life verse.. I believe I will make it mine too.

All I know for sure is what happened in my past. I can learn from past mistakes, and try to not make them anymore.
That is all the past is good for. We still have the present and the future to live for.
Sometimes we think that if we could go back and do things differently, we would.
\ I been thinking a lot about this. I don't know if I would change things, do something different.   If I hadn't gotten married to my ex husband I wouldn't have my precious sons.  I wouldn't have had the life experiences I have had.

I just need to always remember God is in control.
 He loves me unconditionally, no matter how much I mess up.

God's Blessings to you,

1 comment:

  1. Awwwwwww..... big hugs, Sister :( I forgot that was coming up. This is a great post though. I know your daughters in law *and your boys too* are glad you married him-- even if he didn't appreciate what he had. <3